Monday, February 22, 2010

A beautiful butterfly... (a conversation the Disabled Guy had with himself)

The Disabled Guy likes to announce when he's going to do things. I don't know why, he doesn't know why. But he always does the announcement.

"I'm gonna watch a DVD."

"I'm gonna go to my shop."

"I'm gonna go take a shower."

"I'm gonna get some lunch."

"I'm gonna go to the Home Depot."

"I'm gonna watch the race down here."

"I'm gonna do the Bacon Dance." (I'm kidding! He doesn't announce that, it just happens).

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom." Actually, that's an announcement we appreciate. Whoever designed our house was insane and we only have one bathroom. There's no other way to add a bathroom- not even in the basement (which is leaky and made of limestone). So, if he's announcing he's "going to the bathroom", it is up to us to go before he gets there and spends however much time it takes him to "use it".

I'm sure that's an over-share. Not as much as I could over-share with you, but still. There is a fine line between nurse and wife in this house. A line I've crossed much more than any wife should have to. But I digress.

Every night, around the same time, he goes upstairs and changes from his jeans and shirt to PJs or sweats and a hoodie. (we keep the heat at 68F in the winter because its expensive otherwise and in the summer, the AC is at no more than 70F because I hate the heat).

So, today, he announced: "I'm going upstairs to change."

But that's not all. He continued speaking to himself. That's right, a conversation the Disabled Guy had with the Disabled Guy. Don't worry, he didn't upset the space/time continuum. We're safe.

"I'm going upstairs to change. Into what? A beautiful butterfly!"

Moments later, he was walking by my desk (on his way upstairs) and he exclaimed, "You better watch it! I'll hit you with my wings!"

Me: "What wings?"

DG: "Didn't you hear me? My butterfly wings."

Me (Simpsons quote): "Nobody suspects the butterfly."

Also, he posed a question over the weekend. He's gotten into the new Starz! show called "Spartacus, Blood and Sand". If you haven't watched it, let me sum it up- lots of nearly-naked gladiators training for fights, some male nudity (full frontal even), lots of lady nudity, soft-core porn scenes, and expletive-laden dialogue. I mean, its a good show, really, but that does sum it up.

The question he asked me was: "Who do you think would win in a fight? Spartacus or Gladiator?"

I suppose I should be glad he didn't ask me: "Who do you think would win in a fight? The naked guy on TV or that guy who was in that movie with that other guy who looks like that one guy but isn't him."

Oh, for your enjoyment- here's a couple of photos.

People say how much our son looks like him. And its true- hair color and the fact they're both male. But, Jase has my eyes. And when we're together, without the Disabled Guy, I get to hear how much he looks like me. But its a running family joke how Jase doesn't look like him unless he squints his eyes. And now we have proof.

Without joking around, this is Jase's smile (last October)

We also have two daughters that everyone swears look like him. Kat is the oldest- she's twenty years old. Ceej (Christine) is sixteen years old. (Jase just turned eighteen).

Ceej, dolled up for the homecoming dance last October.

Kat at the Ren Faire last August. (that's my ren faire belt and wooden mug. I'm not a nerd, stop saying that).

So, you can see that the kids are an equal mix of the both of us... Jase I think, favors us both more than the girls. It doesn't matter who they look like because when DG talks about them, they're MY kids till they do something he likes. Then their OUR kids.

1 comment:

Themizduck said...

You have a lovely family! I see both of you in all of them :) my daughter is my husband from the neck up, and scrawny like me from the neck down! I also love to call her "my" kid when she does something wonderful...when she misbehaves, she's "his" child! ;)
Btw... I would love to hang out with y'all! I really enjoy the blog :)
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