Friday, November 26, 2010


I don't even know what DG was watching on TV to spurn this story out of him. He was sitting on the sofa with Luna in his lap. She was facing him with that sad face that she does when she hasn't been petted for forty minutes of every hour. And DG started talking to her.

Oh, that's right... he was watching some movie and I'd just come in with the dogs (we don't have a fenced yard, so a human goes outside with the dogs). She jumped into his lap and being that it was about 19 degrees Fahrenheit, she was cold. Where I use the ellipsis (...), that's where DG paused to let Luna reply. Except that she never does.

DG: "Aww, you're so cold! We should get you a poncho... we should... because you don't like wearing a sweater. A poncho would keep you warm... like a sweater, but its like a cape. You'd like that, wouldn't you? ... Wearing a cape. Yes, you would. You could be like Wonder Woman. She has that thing... its gold. HEY! Dear, what's that thing Wonder Woman has?"

Me: "A corset?"

DG: "Its gold."

Me: "Her lasso?"

DG: "That's right. Her lasso. You could [makes swishy noises] and make people tell the truth... yes you could."

I stopped listening for a few minutes and then I heard him say something about having golden hair.

Me: "Wonder Woman didn't have golden hair. Lynda Carter didn't have golden hair."

DG: "DETAILS! We don't need your details!"

Moments later, he said, "Wonder Twins power... ACTIVATE! Form of... CHIHUAHUA!"

Me: "Why is she taking on a form of something she already is?"

DG: "She's my partner! [baby-talk] Do you wanna be my partner?... My little partner?... Partners in CRIME!"

Me: "Don't you mean 'Partners in Crime Fighting'?"

DG: "No. We could be evil! EEEEVILE!... Are we e-VILE? We could defend the German Shepherd. Because he needs help."

Me: "I think Gypsy can handle HERself."

DG: "You're small, but you have a MIGHTY... rawr!"

He completely ignored me, of course, going on about how Luna and he had crime to create and something from the movie "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" ("small but mighty").

Also today, we hooked up our old computer to the old monitor. A few weeks ago, ol' Delly up and died. Well, he didn't actually DIE, but he stopped connecting to the Internet. The amount of money it would take to get it fixed, only to have it needing a fix again in a few months, my parents smiled upon us and bought me a new computer tower. (my monitor, keyboard, and mouse are fairly new). Anyway, we decided to hook up the old computer to its old monitor, delete a bunch of stuff on in and reinstall his NASCAR games. He can't work in the shop in the coldest part of Winter because of his paralyzed side. So, he needs something to pass the time.

It worked. And here are some photos...

At the start of the endeavor, he found some 3-D glasses.

And we have success. (that's a really, really old keyboard)

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

A Hoarse is a Hoarse, of coarse, of coarse.

Over the weekend, I met up with an old friend from another lifetime. And anyone who knows me will tell you that I talk. A lot. I talked myself a little hoarse by Sunday, but I woke up Monday seemingly fine. Today is Tuesday and as my day drags on, I'm losing more and more of my voice. If I have to raise my voice, I sound like a pre-teen boy. If I speak normally I sound like a chain-smoker.

That said... this is today's conversation...

I go through phases where I don't like to eat breakfast cereal. So I end up having non-traditional foods for breakfast and it doesn't matter to me, I just have to eat something when I take my stay-alive pills. This morning, I decided to have some hot dogs.

Like all old people (I'm older than you, you dang whippersnapper! Get off my lawn!), I have a certain way of doing things and I prefer to have those things done MY way! The Disabled Guy opened up a package of hot dogs. He cut a strip in the side all the way down! So, I had to ask him why.

DG: "They were giving me trouble. I had to teach them a lesson."

Me: "A lesson in what? That you abuse your power with a pair of scissors?"

DG: "Exactly! I showed them who is boss. They came out of that package just like I told them to..."

Me: "You did it wrong!" My voice cracked on "wrong"

DG: "Why does your voice sound like that?"

Me: "I told you, I talked myself hoarse this weekend."

DG: "Its Tuesday."

Me: "I know. I was fine yesterday, but when I woke up today, I was hoarse."

DG: "Ohhh, I know why."

And he stopped. I waited. So finally I had to ask, "Why?"

DG: "Because you- you talk so fast and the hoarse couldn't keep up. It couldn't run fast enough to keep up with you and today, it just finally caught up and said, 'HEE-EEEEY!'... yeah. You know it."

So, there you have it- I'm hoarse two days later because the "hoarse/horse" couldn't run fast enough to keep up with my talking.

Also- since I knew I wouldn't be home on Saturday till way later, I made chili in the crock pot. Before I left, I said to Ceej (the 17 year old), "Tell Dad that the cheese for the chili is in the drawer in the fridge!"

DG said, loudly, "I'M RIGHT HERE! I CAN HEAR YOU!"

Me: "Then where's the cheese for the chili?"

DG proudly declared: "The food is in the closet!"

Now he denies ever having said that, but he giggles maniacally when he does.