Friday, January 22, 2010

MAN DOWN! We have a man down! Medic!

Oh, they were good times. Everyone was happy. People were full of jocularity. The Disabled Guy liked his new brain cells. We have photos-

They did itch a little, I guess. How else can we explain this photo?

Today, there was a mishap.

Ever since Christmas Day, when DG opened his brain cells, they sat on the arm of the loveseat, near DG's chair. He'd take them out, comment on how they weren't doing their job, lament when the kids would shake them up.

But today, tragedy struck. Tragedy in a cute package.

This is Bruno. He's cute.

He's seven and a half months old. Here's a photo of him with his parents. (his mother, Luna, and his father, Jasper- in the back). He's larger than both of them now.

He's big for a Chihuahua, but even though he's in that full-grown body, he still has a puppy's brain. And he spotted a stray brain cell. Apparently, they fell off the arm of the loveseat and DG found counting up to three too stressful and didn't check to make sure they were all safe and sound.

We found Bruno across the room, in the dog bed, happily chewing away on a brain cell. DG wailed, "Noooo!! My BRAIN!" then he twitched and flailed his good arm. "My brain has been injured! MEDIC! WE HAVE A MAN DOWN!"

DG scooped up the assaulted brain cell, all the while, wailing "Noooo!" over and over. Then he picked up the stuffing that had been gutted from the poor cell. During this time, I left the room. I heard our son say, "Dad, don't. It isn't going to fit." When I walked back into the living room, DG was forcing the stuffing back inside the little torn hole in the brain cell. It turns out, he was picking up stuffing not only from the offended brain cell, but from some dog toy that had recently been shredded as well.

I need to sew the opening on the brain cell. But even with my horrible sewing, the brain cell may never recover. It has no eyes. The eyes, it seems, have been consumed by the ever-cute, but chews-it-all Bruno. The son said, "Don't worry, Dad, you'll get them back in a few days."

DG exclaimed, "Those eyes will never be the same! My poor brain!"

DG decided that the brain cell might be fine. "It will become a super brain cell. All of its other senses will be enhanced because it ain't got no eyes!"

And so you can see them side-by-side.

Much later in the afternoon, DG looked down at Bruno and said, "You gotta stop eating my brain!"

Bruno's response was to wag his tail furiously and I swear he smiled. It does kind of look like he's smiling in that picture up there...


Anonymous said...

I loved this story! I especially like how the eyeless brain cell is now a super-cell. Keeping it positive is awesome!


Banrion said...

I don't know if you posted this blog elsewhere, and if you did, don't know how I missed it, but I LOVE THIS BLOG!

His wit and humor, your storytelling capabilities. LOL all day long!

Patty O'Chair said...

I started doing this blog around Christmas. After posting stuff on snopes and then having to repeat the "rats and Nike shoes" story a few times, I decided to do the blog.

I asked Jerry if he minded, he said he didn't. He actually likes it when people comment. I even put a page-view counter on there so he'd know how many times his page is viewed. He's such a goober.

joy said...

My husband and me were having a discussion as to why packages you buy at the grocery store were so hard to open. I had just read about the "Rats and Nike Shoes" on your blog.

So anyway, Norm is saying, "I don't know why they have to make it so hard to open stuff." I responded with, "Probably because of the "Rats wearing Red Nike Shoes" (for some reason I picture the rat's shoes being red). Norman looked at me like I was crazy and asked, "What?"

I told him the the "Rats that wear Red Nike shoes" must be smarter than everyday rats so they have to make the packages harder to open."

He still looked at me like I was crazy so I had to tell him your entire story as to how the rats came to be wearing Nike shoes.