Sunday, December 16, 2012

Turkey fighting- it isn't what you think.

Our son works nights at a local factory (well-known maker of delicious things). Today, he came home around 645 AM and was carrying a box. Apparently, the factory gave all their employees a frozen ten pound turkey. (the "unclaimed" turkeys go to a local charity).

Jase got the turkey into the freezer and then he went to bed. DG came down just now and I said: "Hey, Jason brought home a turkey."

DG: "What?"

I told him how the factory gave out turkeys to their employees.

DG: "We already have a turkey. Did it fit in the freezer?"

Me: "Apparently."

DG: "I hope it don't fight with the other turkey." [I just looked at him and he continued] "You know, cuz they hate each other."

Me: "Frozen dead turkeys hate each other?"

DG: "Yeah. You know how turkeys are." [no, apparently I don't!]

There was a several moment pause.

DG: "I hope they don't start nothing. We'll end up with little turkeys everywhere."

Me: "You just said they were going to fight."

DG: [scoffing noise] "They gotta have makeup sex..." [with a tone of "duh, how did you not know"]

That's where he left it. He went and got his coffee and when he sat down in the living room, I had to tell him one thing about frozen turkeys.

Me: "Even if they do have makeup sex, I don't think little turkeys would be a problem... most turkeys that are butchered and frozen for eating are boy turkeys."

DG: "Ah, well... they're gonna fight then."

Me: "What if they're gay turkeys? They can still have makeup sex."

DG: "I ain't never heard of gay turkeys."

Me: "Why not? They have gay penguins."

DG: "No they don't."

Me: "They're in the news and I think they raised a baby together."

DG: "These ain't penguins. These are turkeys. And they hate each other." [short pause] "They're gonna fight."

So... frozen turkeys hate each other and are going to fight... but frozen turkeys can't be gay.

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