Textually Speaking with the Disabled Guy

I thought for sure with him being gone (long story, really stupid story, lame story even), I wouldn't have a conversation to post. Long story short- he went on a road trip with his father, an uncle and a cousin. The part that's stupid is the fact we discussed it, he said he wasn't going to go because we have too much going on (our son is graduating from high school, our dog is having puppies, our daughter's birthday and such). Then he changed his mind. Then he failed to tell me that upon returning for our son's graduation, he would be leaving again. That caused an argument between us that is a conversation you won't read here. Let's just say he owes me a present. Why? Because I told him he owes me a present.

Now, DG can barely text message. His brain doesn't comprehend the whole text concept- where one has to press a key three times to get to a letter and whatnot. Those familiar with texting know what I'm talking about. Others who don't text, its the letters on the phone digits- 1=ABC, 2=DEF and so on. Jase sat down with him and showed him how to text message. And he seemed to get it. But not always. And when I text TO him, I can't use text-speak because he doesn't understand it.

When Jase asked me a car-related question, I decided to ask DG, because he's with his father and his father would know the answer. This is the text conversation. Any misspellings are because DG doesn't like the text-key thing.

Me: "Show this to your father & text me what he says: In a stick shift car, is 'reverse' always 'to the right & down' or does it change by car make/model/tranny speed? Jase wants to know."

DG: "We can all fit in the minivan."

Me: "What? What about the minivan?"

DG: "The vehiclls." (vehicles)

I called him. "What the hell are you talking about?"

DG: "The car. We can all fit in the minivan."

Me: "What does that have to do with anything?"

DG: "For the thing."

Me: "What thing? Did you even read the text?"

DG: "Yeah. And we can all fit in the minivan."

Me: "I didn't ask about the minivan. I asked if stick shift vehicles all had the same gear set up or if it varies by type of car."

DG: *pause* "Oh... OHHH! Okay. Oh. Yeah, unless its, like an 18-wheeler."

Me: "What about foreign cars?"

DG: "I don't know about those."

Me: "What did you think I was asking you?"

DG: "About driving to Jase's graduation."

Me: "Where in hell did you get "Jase's graduation" from "stick shift car"?"

DG: "I don't know."

Me: "You owe me a present. A big present now."

DG: "Okay."

For the record, I'm not squeezing my fat ass into anyone's minivan. I'm driving my own vehicle so I can park where I want.