The Janesville Renaissance Faire and the Disabled Guy

Remember how the Disabled Guy made a treasure chest for my sea captains? Well, last weekend, I was able to give them the treasure chest. They were properly impressed, they couldn't stop raving about it, all the blocks fit absolutely perfectly, and there was room on top of the blocks because of the shape of the lid.

And, they used it- as a box to tote the blocks, as a table, and as a bench. They loved it.

And then it broke. Not badly, just some nails came out and DG blamed himself for not "making it properly". So, he came out to the Janesville Faire with me on Sunday. He didn't "go" to faire, he merely came out with some tools to fix the treasure chest properly. The faire let him set up in the "green room" (where the cast and crew could go to take breaks and eat lunch and so on), so he got to meet a lot of people. I introduced him to as many people as I could and a ton more made their way into meet him on their own (he was there about two hours). And, I accomplished one of my goals- I introduced the Disabled Guy to Jane the Phoole. AND I HAVE A PHOTO OF IT!!

I don't remember what she said, but he was trying not to laugh.



Since I wasn't in the room with him the whole time (I did have to go out and take a few photos of the faire, of course), I have no idea how many people actually greeted him. I do know some of them waited till I was there to have me introduce them, but a lot just said "good morning" or "hi" to him. And everyone was very glad to meet him.

When he was done fixing the treasure chest, I told him he had to pose for a couple photos, then I'd let him go. He was a very good sport about it, because he hates to have his photo taken. But, I managed to get two shots with the sea captains and the treasure chest.

I had them all cross their arms and look "stern" because that's how DG poses for photos when he doesn't want his paralyzed side to be obvious.



Then I told the sea captains to pose however they wanted, because I knew DG wouldn't move. And he didn't.




So, I finally got the Disabled Guy TO the faire on a faire day (as opposed to pre-season at Bristol). I introduced him to as many of my people as I could (he can't remember all of them) and despite wanting to take photos of him with everyone, I didn't. But hey, the photos I got were awesome.

Oh, and the funniest part (at least to me) was as we were walking out to this grassy area- with Frobisher and Hawkyns carrying the chest- I pointed at the other Towers game box (which was set up with the Guild of St. George). I said: "That's the original box, the 'coffin' I said you could make."  The Disabled Guy looked at it and made a scoff-sound with his laugh and said: "Yeah, right."

Because of course he'd never make anything so lame. Sea captains need a treasure chest.

The Disabled Guy hates needles, another Textually Speaking...

I gotta say, these text convos are way easier to share now that I have a phone that does screen captures. I used to have to type them all up manually...

Anyway...

DG hates needles. Which makes the fact he has a monthly blood check even funnier to me. His fear of needles is so bad that he looks away when it happens in a movie. We all do that with some things- for me its anyone causing an injury to themselves. Especially a knee/foot injury, because I've had so many issues with my own that I KNOW how bad it really hurts.

Now, he doesn't faint with this fear of needles. He just can't watch the action. (I can, if they let me. And I'd photograph it, if they'd let me). His fear is that while they're jamming the needles into the flesh, that the needle will break off just under the skin and you'll die before they can stop it. Which is ridiculous and he knows how ridiculous it is- but, phobias make no sense.

This came up because a month ago, I had a steroid shot in my foot for a very long-term plantar faciitis issue. (also known as "bone spurs" and "Pain so bad it feels like a burning hot railroad spike is being hammered into my heel").
Here's a link to my blog about it- with pictures! Well, that shot didn't take. It started out okay, but within a week, I was back to the original level of pain. So yesterday, I had another appointment. My options were limited to: "Get another shot and hope for the best" or "get surgery".

Normally, I'd jump on that surgical bandwagon with the speed of the Flash. Anything to rid myself of this pain. However, one needs at least six weeks to recover (three weeks in a cast) and I don't have that kind of time. In about five weeks, I'm going to start my busy time. The funny thing is- I have about six weeks between all that and the opening of Bristol. But the problem is that I also have fibromyalgia and there is no way to predict how long a delay I'll get from that... but I digress... Today, I sent a text to DG and told him what the doctor told me while I had the needle in my foot.

What he's saying is that he walked into his room, saw a new message 

on his phone and was shocked and grossed out to read what I sent. 

Well, that escalated quickly- Textually Speaking.

You all remember that the Disabled Guy built a fancy treasure chest for my sea captains, right? If not, here's the link to that post. And you all know that I do that whole photography thing... And in that, I do a 365days self-portrait project. I'm on my fifth year. And this is today's 365 (Day 38). This is just a lighting trick. My flash is on a remote trigger, inside the box, and I used my camera's remote to take the photo... and the flash fires when the camera does- giving us this effect. (basically, there's a camera flash inside the box). But that's not important...

The important part is that I sent that photo in a text to DG and this is our subsequent conversation...

A new look... and something not about the Disabled Guy

I've been meaning to update this blog's template and overall look, but I've also been procrastinating myself into oblivion because changing things seemed too much like work. Last night, I was stuck awake with my fibro's idea of insomnia ("diet insomnia", if you will). I changed that one over and let me say, the interface has changed a lot since I first did this. It was easy. The hardest part was updating that banner image. The new photo of the Disabled Guy is from this photo I did for my dad- so it's from October of 2012.

Back when I first set up my blogs, I did the layout and colors in a way so my mom could read them. She preferred the darker background and lighter fonts, so that's how I did it. And, well... its been just over two years since she passed away, four months since we lost Dad.

I know this blog is for my conversations with the Disabled Guy, but I've been wanting to get this out for a few weeks now. I miss my parents every single day. Our lives are never going to be as good as they were when my parents were around. They were good people, good parents, and they are going to be missed by me till the day I die. My day-to-day life has been ripped apart.

But one thing I'm relieved about- and this came to me a few weeks ago- is that I'm glad my dad was active and living his life when he passed away. He went suddenly and he still had plans. But he didn't get sick and linger. Mom got sick and in the last year of her life, she hated "being a burden" to us. She wasn't a burden, but she felt like one. And she hated it. So, I'm glad my dad was able to keep doing what they wanted to do. He got home from a trip on that Saturday and he passed away on Monday- after winterizing his RV for the year.

Sorry to bring you down... if it helps, I was crying through those previous two paragraphs and probably missed some grammar mistakes.

Textually-speaking about sofas and lobsters

A few years ago, DG wanted to build a sofa for our living room because our old one (which wasn't all that old, really) became irreparable. He was looking for a specific type of sofa to copy. You know which kind- from the 1970s- heavy wood construction, bare wood arms and frame, with three cushions with the most god-awful, ugly 1970s style upholstery ever. To do this, he needed me to find a photo of one for him.

I am pretty experienced in Google-fu. I can find almost anything and do so quite quickly. I was so good at Googling things that my dad used to call me and ask me to search for something because it was quicker than him trying to do it himself. But no matter what kind of keywords I put in, I could not find that specific style of sofa. I finally asked in the general discussion area of a message board I used to frequent called "Bonesmart". It was a place for folks with joint replacements and I was one of the youngest people there. And guess what... someone had a photo. Not just a photo, they had the actual wooden frame (without cushions!) in their garage and they literally took a photo for him.

And he built the sofa, which is what we were talking about in this text conversation. I told him that "Raising Arizona" was on and I realized that Nic Cage's character had the entire living room set of that furniture. All those weeks I spent searching the internet for a goddamn photo and it was right there in a DVD that we owned and could have taken a photo of on the TV. So, I've told you all this solely to explain that DG's "I know" is in reply to me telling him that "Raising Arizona" was made by the Coen Brothers, who also made "O, Brother, Where Art Thou?" (a movie that not only he likes, but his father likes too).

So, we went from a discussion about sofas to lobsters, literally like this:



And the "Huge lobster"? Here's that very photo he sent to me.



That is definitely a huge lobster!

Textually-speaking version 2014

So, as you can see... the Disabled Guy is gone again. I won't bore you with the details, because like I just said- BORING.

I was sitting in the living room, as one does when one is trying to watch a movie, and  I was being smothered under Luna and Gregg, as one has happen when one sits down in my house. I snapped a photo with my phone and sent it to DG with the caption:

"I have a slight problem." 

He replied with a non-committal "Okay."

Then I sent this photo.

"Well... then this happened." 

And here is a screen cap of what happened in our conversation next. I'm in blue, he's in yellow- in case you were not familiar with android smartphones.  (for those who don't know, I recently got a smartphone for the first time. My kids have had their own for years, but this is my first real smartphone- Samsung Galaxy Metrix, in case you were wondering). 

*Click to see larger* 

Ahh... good comeback, Disabled Guy... very good comeback! (and he could do it too, you all know it!). 

Sophisticated Mice...

So, I've been wearing out the new album by Steam Powered Giraffe that came out a couple weeks ago. I made DG listen to the "Fancy Shoes" (amateur video from a concert last month) song where this line happens: "Let me tell you a story to clarify the matter: once upon a time, a mouse put on some shoes..." (it happens about 2 minutes 40 seconds into that video) ***EDITED JUNE 6, 2014*** Steam Powered Giraffe released a video for "Fancy Shoes"

This morning, he was walking to the kitchen (6 AM, he just got up) and that song was playing on my computer (you can wear out a digital album, right? I have the actual CD just in case). I said: "Oh, he doesn't even know..."

DG: "Know what?"

I backed the song up and replayed that line and said: "How often does that happen? Apparently every time I listen to this song."

DG: "Oh, he doesn't even know. They got four feet. They gotta put shoes on twice every day."

He went into the kitchen and came back out and said: "Unless its a sophisticated mouse. Then he walks on two legs and he only needs one pair of shoes."

After I typed all that, I asked: "If a mouse puts on two pairs of shoes, how does he tie the shoes on his little mouse hands?"

He narrowed his eyes, deep in thought and said in monotone: "Velcro."

After a short pause he added: "Slip-ons. The possibilities are endless."

Me: "Not really. I think those possibilities end there."

DG (still in monotone): "You're probably right."

**For your reading pleasure- "Rats, with their little Nike Shoes"**