All my words.

We got a notice in the mail saying we hadn't made our house payment. Well, that's insane because we have an automatic payment thing because our home loan is at the bank where we have our accounts. A few years ago, there was a similar problem but it turned out to be a computer thing. They'd changed over their computer system and a bunch of us had our payments made, but not recorded, so the computers spit out the late notices. They had fixed the problem, but weren't able to stop all the notices.

ANYWAY, I called the bank, ready to be told it was something similar. Except this time, it wasn't them. It was us. Our account balance was below the amount our house payment was (basically, we were about $300 short for that day of the month). When the bank lady told me what the balance was on the day of payment, I realized what happened. I thanked her for her time, told her I'd be in the next day to straighten it out.

I hung up the phone and turned to the Disabled Guy- who was standing there, ready to back me up with indignant sighs and proclamations that the bank lady wouldn't have heard.

Me: "Remember when we helped Christine with that rent thing?" (long story short- our daughter is moving into her own apartment this school year and miscalculated her move-in date and needed to pay rent for August instead of September. We helped her out till her paychecks become regular).

DG: "Yeah."

Me: "Did you deposit the check to cover it?"

DG: "No. You told me not to."

Me: "I never told you not to. I told you TO deposit it."

Then he recited this to me- which was almost word-for-word correct: "You said since we were giving her the money from this bank, I didn't need to write her a check from my other bank."

Me: "Yes. I DID say that. Because she needed a cashier's check to pay the rent, since she's mailing it. So I told you on payday I'd give her that check [almost $300 for her share- she has roommates] and then you could deposit the $300 in OUR account so she wouldn't be late on her rent having to wait for the check to clear."

He opened his mouth to debate then stopped. I could see the wheels turning in his head and it clicked. He only listened to half of what I had told him. He does that a lot. Now that we have that house payment thing settled (and totally his fault for not listening to ALL MY WORDS), we went on with our day- me finishing up the last of my ren faire photos for last week, him playing with his model train.

Around 6 PM, he came out of the basement and as he walked past me, he asked what we were having for dinner. I replied we were having frozen pizza. That's what we'd talked about the night before.

DG: "No, we didn't. We had hot dogs last night."

Me: "I know. We talked about it because Christine's work hours are fucked up. We decided to have hot dogs last night and frozen pizza tonight because she could make her own when she got home." (she's working on a movie set about an hour away- great experience, low pay).

DG: "I thought the frozen pizza was for Friday [tomorrow]."

Me: "She's not even going to be home for dinner tomorrow." (Fridays, she goes out to the faire and stays on site because her call time is so early in the AM).

DG: "But the pizza was for tomorrow."

Me: "No, we talked about it..."

Then, those wheels in his head clicked again.

ALL MY WORDS.

I exclaimed: "OH MY GOD!" at him, much like I did when I got off the phone with the bank when I realized it was his mistake and we weren't actually missing a random $300.

He said: "Man, now I want some Kool-aid."

Me: "What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

DG: "OH YEAH!"

Me: "Uh.... what?"

DG: "You keep saying it- OH YEAH! And now I want some Kool-aid."

Me: "I said OH MY GOD, not OH YEAH."

DG: "Are you sure?"

Me: "Yes. I'm positive. I'm positive you're a lunatic."

DG: "OH YEAH!"

ALL MY WORDS... 

Now, on a much lighter note...

And, as I mentioned many, many times before, I go to ren faires. Last year, I met this guy and his wife at Bristol. He looked familiar to me, but I thought it was because I had met him previously at faire. Well, sort of... he's familiar because he's been on TV. That's Mike Trykoski from the TV show called "Wrecked". It was a show about the O'Hare Towing company and the many "adventures" they had on the job. And the Disabled Guy loved that show.

The day I took this photo, he was wearing a kilt. Now he dresses like a pirate- tricorn hat and all. His wife- Mary- dresses in long, flowing, comfortable dresses. They come to faire frequently and are season members of the Friends of Faire (which, as you recall, the Disabled Guy built benches for).



So, once, when I saw them, Mike told me that he had a T-shirt and hat to give to the Disabled Guy. Since they only come to faire every couple weeks (as his job allows), we didn't see each other for very long... anyway, he gave me the shirt and hat last week. I didn't tell the Disabled Guy about it- the hat and shirt, that is- I told him who I met the day I met them. Anyway, when I gave them to him, he didn't believe me. I had to remind him of how I knew Mike and Mary.

Then I took a terrible cell phone photo of him wearing them so I could show them next time I saw them at faire.

Then I took one with the flash and discovered the grey stripes on the hat are reflective.

The Janesville Renaissance Faire and the Disabled Guy

Remember how the Disabled Guy made a treasure chest for my sea captains? Well, last weekend, I was able to give them the treasure chest. They were properly impressed, they couldn't stop raving about it, all the blocks fit absolutely perfectly, and there was room on top of the blocks because of the shape of the lid.

And, they used it- as a box to tote the blocks, as a table, and as a bench. They loved it.

And then it broke. Not badly, just some nails came out and DG blamed himself for not "making it properly". So, he came out to the Janesville Faire with me on Sunday. He didn't "go" to faire, he merely came out with some tools to fix the treasure chest properly. The faire let him set up in the "green room" (where the cast and crew could go to take breaks and eat lunch and so on), so he got to meet a lot of people. I introduced him to as many people as I could and a ton more made their way into meet him on their own (he was there about two hours). And, I accomplished one of my goals- I introduced the Disabled Guy to Jane the Phoole. AND I HAVE A PHOTO OF IT!!

I don't remember what she said, but he was trying not to laugh.



Since I wasn't in the room with him the whole time (I did have to go out and take a few photos of the faire, of course), I have no idea how many people actually greeted him. I do know some of them waited till I was there to have me introduce them, but a lot just said "good morning" or "hi" to him. And everyone was very glad to meet him.

When he was done fixing the treasure chest, I told him he had to pose for a couple photos, then I'd let him go. He was a very good sport about it, because he hates to have his photo taken. But, I managed to get two shots with the sea captains and the treasure chest.

I had them all cross their arms and look "stern" because that's how DG poses for photos when he doesn't want his paralyzed side to be obvious.



Then I told the sea captains to pose however they wanted, because I knew DG wouldn't move. And he didn't.




So, I finally got the Disabled Guy TO the faire on a faire day (as opposed to pre-season at Bristol). I introduced him to as many of my people as I could (he can't remember all of them) and despite wanting to take photos of him with everyone, I didn't. But hey, the photos I got were awesome.

Oh, and the funniest part (at least to me) was as we were walking out to this grassy area- with Frobisher and Hawkyns carrying the chest- I pointed at the other Towers game box (which was set up with the Guild of St. George). I said: "That's the original box, the 'coffin' I said you could make."  The Disabled Guy looked at it and made a scoff-sound with his laugh and said: "Yeah, right."

Because of course he'd never make anything so lame. Sea captains need a treasure chest.

The Disabled Guy prefers just a handshake...

So, most of you all know that I do the renaissance faire thing. I dress in garb and
  I also happen to take a lot of photos while I'm there.

A group of friends- who I refer to collectively as "My Sea Captains"- play a game called Spanish Towers. It is also known as "Sword Point Towers" and "Giant Jenga"... originally, they played with a set of blocks that came in a nice little box with terribly sharp handles and they'd just drag that around from location to location. I'm not entirely sure what prompted the change (something about swords, stabbings, splinters)- but now they have different blocks and no box to cart them around in and it is a little bit of a pain in the ass. That's a lot of blocks and they're not very big blocks, so the odds of losing one or two is pretty good.

Here are a few photos of My Sea Captains and the game of Spanish Towers-








You get the idea...

Well, at the most recent Gathering of Rogues and Ruffians, I suggested to my sea captains that I'd ask the Disabled Guy if he could/would make a box for them to tote their blocks around in. And of course, he said he would.

Today, the Disabled Guy started "wondering" about the box he was going to create (and he's got like, six months as they technically don't need it till Janesville Renaissance Faire).  He was asking me dimensions (it happens to be written down- the measurements) and I thought he was confused by how big it had to be. The tower measures 32 inches by 10.5 by 10.5. So, I kept re-explaining it to him.

When you translate English into Stroke English, sometimes it takes a few different tries to get to one the Stroke person can understand. But he finally got it across to me- he was asking if the box had to be a perfectly-shaped rectangle.

DG: "This box... what if I made it look like a treasure chest? You know, with the top [hand gesture] that isn't flat? Rounded on top?"  and he kept making a slightly round-on-top gesture with his hand.

Me: "They would probably love that. They would love it a lot. You know, if you did that, the sea captains would woo you. They would woo you so hard!"

DG: "What does that mean?"

Me: "Woo, you know, like romantically... I have a video where the captains are teaching Andrew how to woo a lady."

DG: "Who is Andrew?"

Me: "That's Anne-Drew. A girl named Kait plays Anne-Drew, Frobisher's ship's boy..."

I could see I was starting to lose him- too many names, too much detail- so I said: "I have a video. C'mere... this is where the sea captains teach Anne-Drew how to woo a lady."


After he saw the video, he chuckled. "Woo a lady... tell 'em a handshake is just fine. They can woo someone else."

For the record, I sent a text to Captain Hawkyns with a very shortened version of that conversation and his reply to the treasure chest was: "Yup, we'd like that a bit."

Unfortunately for Anne-Drew, that means there probably won't be wheels on one end for ease of dragging. But at least it'll look cool, right? And he said he'd make sure the handles don't cut into fingers- he hates hat too.

Oh, and just in case anyone forgot about his box-making skills...